i was just reading this blog, forgotten the addy now, which had several people posting on whether they'd stay in singapore and why and why not. it was very interesting, particularly as a few of them were studying in australia already. i've stayed in australia for 8 years, and i might presume to say that i sort of know what it's like there. it's not really somewhere that i'd like to spend the rest of my life really, it's too laid back and there's never a sense that you're doing something or going somewhere. perhaps the reason i can't stand that is because i grew up in singapore, rushing here, doing that, placing the utmost importance on grades. it's a rushed lifestyle, and i like it that way. yet at the same time, i do not want to spend the rest of my life in singapore. why that is, is hard to explain. it's perhaps only comprehensible to people who have lived there themselves. on the surface, there's nothing not to like if you don't mind the stress. the health care's good, the government's steady and non-corrupt, the crime rate is very low, but perhaps the main problem with it is that it's stifling. culturally stifling, creativity stifling, difference stifling.

i'm not saying that i'm particularly creative or anything, because i'm not, but i think it's quite strange that they ask people to be more creative and try to encourage them, and then take their ideas and make sure they follow government policy. *blink* that just doesn't quite make sense to me. of course, the other problem is that the conservative chinese culture, which i am supposedly a part of, has always rubbed me the wrong way. consequence of spending that 8 years in australia perhaps. so i don't want to stay in singapore and not australia either, so where? goodness only knows. perhaps if i study there, i might integrate and end up spending the rest of my life there. but then i might lose sight of all that i want to do in this infinitesimally short lifetime that we're granted, it's very easy to sit back and relax in australia. too easy.

jumped at 8:14 AM

was talking to my parent last night, and wondering aloud if i should even have come, as it's turning out to be quite a significant financial burden (yes, even without the shopping), and she kinda talked me through the advantages, which, i'd already outlined to myself, but hadn't quite convinced myself it was worth all the bouts of misery i've gone through the past few months. but yea, i have had much more experience, it's opened my eyes quite a fair bit, sometimes in ways i wish it hadn't, but i've definitely matured quite a lot. i don't know if that's a good thing, i've never liked being mature, as quite a few of my closer friends can testify, always felt it wasn't much fun. then again, it's done my self confidence wonders, and i am much more certain that i'll be able to take care of myself after graduation, when i go off to wherever.

on the down side, i've outgrown quite a few things, and perhaps even a few people, which is quite depressing to think about, though i won't be sure until i go back and hang out with them a couple of times. not burning any bridges at the moment, but i can't say i see much of a future in certain relationships. this isn't to say that i've outgrown frivolity, much the opposite, i can't see myself being serious for any major length of time *grin*, but sometimes the rather short term, immature?, narrow world view of certain friends tends to make me rather irritated.

i think my mum was rather pleasantly surprised during last nights conversation. we used to get into screaming matches about anything and everything, but now i really just don't see the point. perhaps that's due to distance, and when i get back we'll slip back into the normal dramatic way of things, but i hope not, this is much more peaceful. =)

jumped at 7:57 AM

very sleepy today, for a very simple reason.. shanz and elynn called me yesterday at the rather ungodly hour of 3.30am. *blinks blearily* did lift my spirits though, and shannie's incessant wanting of chocolate always makes me feel better about my own addiction *sparkle* thanks you two *hugs*

jumped at 1:16 AM

it's all rainy, misty and foggy today, i love this kind of weather, gives the whole landscape this eerie, ethereal feel. also, more practically, the mist makes it kind of warmer. ;) Edinburgh is really just such a beautiful city, even compared with the other UK cities I've been to, only Bath comes close, and that's more picturesque than beautiful. Edinburgh has these gorgeous Georgian buildings, and lots of really pretty gardens and green spaces. Then of course, there's the castle, towering over the city centre, along with the Scott monument, right next to the absolutely huge Princes St Gardens, which lately has been alive with people sitting on the grass listening to the bands in the jazz festival that's been going on. I'm really going to miss this place.

And the people in it too. I've spoken to more strangers in these 3 months than I have in Singapore for about 3 years, maybe more. Sat and chatted with a lady from Texas on the train from Edinburgh to Glasgow, nonstop for more than an hour. Started random conversations at bus stops, got told that i look like a 'wee scottish lass', had more conversations about the weather than I've ever had in my life. *grin* People are just so much more open in western countries. Try starting up a conversation with a random stranger in Singapore, chances are, they'll look at you like you're crazy, and try to pretend that you're talking to yourself. It's ridiculous.

What's also rather refreshing is their acceptance of homosexuals, on tv, in print, in real life, it's really fantastic, especially after having some rather disappointing, eye opening incidents of how several of my closer friends feel about them. *shakes head* Another thing lacking in Singapore; it's probably impossible for them to get more homophobic.

jumped at 5:25 AM

18 days to go.

jumped at 9:07 AM

this post is going to be quite random, since i still don't know what i'm going to write. hrm. and it's all just going to come out all over the place. anyway.

went to manchester over the weekend, got a grand total of 13 hours sleep in 3 nights, and i'm very very stoned. the commonwealth games are of course on there, and the buzz in the city was amazing, it had a really fantastic atmosphere, i loved it. =) shopped for ages, spent so long in selfridges it was crazy, but it was the last day of their sale, and we took full advantage. was tempted by so many things that i wouldn't normally even look at, especially this pair of Chanel sunglasses, which kinda made me look more than a little 'tai tai', and that, along with the S$450 pricetag, persuaded me not to get them. *grin* other things that i managed to resist by the skin of my teeth, a gorgeous DKNY top, and a Cacharel top, as well as this peasant top by Karen Millen, but i stayed strong. :p still, i'm almost definitely going to get a pair of shades before i go back, prolly either the fcuk ones or the ralph ones i saw in Trafford. will be going back down to manchester in two weeks to get a couple more things, and to buy jack's man u jersey, which i didn't have time to get this trip.

other than that, there was this ben affleck lookalike sitting opposite me on the train from Leeds to Manchester, and he was fit. *grin* and there were so many good looking guys in Manchester, i swear they have more than their fair share. and after this, not to mention the guys in Paris, I'm going back to singapore. *sigh* talk about a serious lack of eye candy.

my supervisor has gone on holiday for 2 weeks, and my co-supervisor will be taking some time off next week to move house, so i'm being left rather autonomous, and i was quite pleased about that, thought some slacking time was coming my way, but no, have to complete about 60+ candidates, culture them, do the DNA preps from yeast, transform that into E. coli, isolate the DNA from the E. coli and do a synchronization expt. i wanna go hooooome. *whines* only 20 working days to go. and weekends in London, Manchester and the Lake District. i can handle this surely. i hope.

jumped at 4:41 AM