erm. i have a lot of stuff to do, since i've been neglecting my so called life for the past few days, but basically, yesterday was good. could've been better, but still. =) can't have everything. i got photos with chester bennington, rob thomas, shaggy, brian and i think glenn from matchbox 20, though those apparently didn't turn out, *growl* glenn opened the door for us! haha. so sweet. and he's got the most beautiful eyes. *grin* anyhow, and erm, lee from blue, who was wandering around the hotel lobby still drunk, at about 1 or 2pm. i won't repeat my whole conversation with him verbatim, but it was pretty funny. but got a pic with him in the end. erm, who else? oh yea, jtl, some korean boyband? made up of 3 ex-members of H.O.T. or something. haha. they were pretty horrible to their chinese fans, like completely ignoring them and letting security chase em off and stuff? so different from chester and rob. but they were really nice to me. haha. maybe they could tell i didn't have a clue who they were? *grin* but yea, i hope that pic comes out. was kinda funny the way we asked for it too, eh nora? *sparkle* ignored the rest of the chinese artistes though, and though we saw missy elliott and aishwarya rai a few times, wasn't able to get a pic with either of them, security for those was a bit too tight, and anyway, i'm scared of missy e's bodyguard! haha. he's HUGE. reminded me of aaron carter's ex-bodyguard biscuit. lolx.

so yea, will be getting those pics developed soon hopefully, and we'll see which ones are nice enough to put up. feel like i should've gone to 4 seasons to see whether i could get a pic with evan. but oh well. :p too tired, and the soles of my feet feel like they're bruised. side effect of wearing boots for 3 days i suppose...

jumped at 7:53 PM

it's 1.30am and i kinda just got back. my feet are absolutely killing me! ow ow ow owwwww. *sniffle* but yea. lol. this may be a long post, cos a lotta stuff happened, but then, i'm so damn sleepy i might just give up halfway. *grin* we'll see how it goes.

kay, headed to the hotel in the morning and sat there a coupla hours, saw blue once. bah. didn't get photos either. double bah. also saw jtl, who we didn't recognise until well, they'd gone upstairs, and jay chou's dancers. haha. oh, and a few members of missy elliot's entourage. oh, the excitement. *yawn* eventually we decided to get our arses down to the indoor stadium to eat and register where we were supposed to. met so damn many people i wasn't expecting to, including saira(!), and people i haven't seen in at least a year. the next couple of hours were pretty boring so i'll skip em. :p

fastforwarding, we were standing in the room where the seat fillers were supposed to line up n stuff, and we saw a few people walk past, avril lavigne, chester bennington (linkin park), aishwarya rai and anggun. then it was our turn, and while we were standing against the wall outside waiting for the commercial break, brett anderson (!!), as in, suede's brett anderson walked past us. haha. that was a real ohmigod moment. *grin* so i just had to msg peiyi n xuefen to get 'em jealous. *sparkle* oh well. then we were shepherded to a seat, next to this chinese guy who i still think is a star, but which i, unsurprisingly did not recognise. oops. haha. in front of me was this really, REALLY hot guy, blonde, a few earrings and hot hot HOT! and after a while someone came in behind us and i realised that brett anderson was sitting in the seat right behind me. lol! blue was 2 rows in front too. pretty good seats. *sparkle*

eventually the people actually occupying those seats returned, (in the middle of matchbox 20's performance dammit, that was the one i was looking forward most to), and we headed back up to the room. after, well, a long time, we were seated again, right in front of the damn runway the stars used to get to the stage when they won awards. and i mean, right in front. i'm dreading seeing the awards on tv, because all the winners, (spoiler here, as if it really matters), jay chou, avril (inc the really really hot blonde guy mentioned earlier who turned out to be her bandmember), linkin park, stephanie sun etc walked straight past us, while they were being filmed. *hides her face in her hands* damn. so yea, blue were supposed to be sitting behind us, but they were backstage, chester and joe hahn were 2 rows behind us, (and joe's wife is so pretty), david tao was sitting 2 seats to my left, avril was in the row behind me, as was aishwarya rai, (who is incredibly pretty up close. which is a duh statement since she was miss world, but forgive my fatuousness, it's late at night.) i was actually sitting in regine velasquez's seat, so i was hoping and hoping that she wouldn't come back, because then i'd have to move, and blue was performing at the finale, so we really didn't want to, but thankfully she never came back. haha. hey, i voted for her, and she won, so... *grin*

so yea, it was kinda surreal. lol. however, nothing material came out of it, because i didn't manage to get photos with anyone, cos well, you're not allowed to bring cameras in, and the only stuff i got was lee's mtv tag (not the pass, but just the free one everyone had, of all the nominees and shite), as well as blue's script, which was under lee's chair. which is okay i guess, but i'm past the stage where i would have treasured stuff like that. oh yea, and we also got our own lil mtv seat filler tag, which is... okay i guess.

then we were headed home, but were kinda near the hotel, so decided to go there a while, and saw atomic kitten and blue again, wandering around, but there were too many fans there to really do anything, so was a bit of a waste of time. oh. and this group of guys walked past us while we were sitting down ordering stuff and asked if i wanted to join em for a drink. erm. no. haha. though i think they were headed to the after show party, so maybe i shoulda gone. lol.

anyway, i'm off to bed, another damn long day tomorrow. *yawns hugely*

jumped at 9:54 AM

whee. helped a friend sell his mtv tickets for $260. yay. haha. i get commission honey! *grins evilly* but wow, with the market the way it is now, if i had standing tickets i'd rather sell them and skip going. haha. go over to someone's house who's got cable and have a night out. *grin* oh well. seat fillers aren't transferable. bah.

went for blue's arrival this afternoon, was.... okay i guess. i wasn't spectacularly excited, though lee is pretty cute. still, it felt good to get back into it, we even had the required mercedes van with driver waiting for us. lol. what was strange was that each member of blue had their own merc car, which is different from the usual van, mtv really is going all out. anyhow, was pretty nice hanging out with everyone, so i guess it was worth it. =)

then queued up at HMV for the Atomic Kitten/Blue/B.A.D party at Zouk tomorrow, and got them, no trouble, so tomorrow is going to be damn busy. school 9-5 with no break, then to meet the girl i'm selling the tickets to, then back home to change, then to the Starhub MAA launch party at Embassy, then the Zouk party at 9.30pm. yikes. i'm going to be half dead tomorrow night. lol. and the awards are the next day! jeez. and saturday! the atomic kitten autograph session at 1, then i think a few of us are going to the missy elliott breakdancing competition at zouk again, in the afternoon, then maybe the avril lavigne autograph session at 5 or 6. haha. i'm dead. *grin*

jumped at 4:53 AM

marcus told me some time ago that he was glad he wasn't me, because my life was so damn complicated he wouldn't be able to keep track of what was going on. believe me marc honey, i know the feeling.

anyway, stuff that happened today, one major melodramatic argument, sounding somewhat like the script of a third rate soap opera, (yes sarah, and that was equally my fault :p), spending money i can't afford to, (one giordano jacket i needed, and a halter top from miss selfridge for the MAAs), much ranting, with the help of my able assistant and project partner, sarah. haha. *ducks* but seriously, we wandered around bugis for a while, and got some absolutely horrendous service from some old bitch at bugis village. hope she heard what i muttered not quite under my breath as i left. ha. not to mention the service at OG. *covers her face with her hands* they were scarily hopeless. yick. i hope they collectively choke to death on their hot pink shoulderpads. (i'm assuming here that they match the rest of their hot pink uniforms. *smirk*)

but my giordano jacket is so cool! hahaha. even though, as sarah said, it goes against both our principles to buy something from giordano. she wanted to cut the little brand thing off the sleeve. haha. anyhow, it's this dark red, and it makes me look sweet! *beam* a miracle, truly. lol. but strangely, it does. though at the same time i also look somewhat collegiate. which is good i guess. lol. just hope that i wear it as much as i promised myself i would. :p

jumped at 9:07 AM

finally got around to clearing up my study room, after being nagged by my mum for oh, aaaages, and am in the midst of going through a huge stack of notes. and the worst thing is sometimes i can't even remember what subject they are! and like, a year ago i'd completely memorised the whole lot. lol. oops. was setting aside notes on biochem, cell culture, mbio and instru for eugene (btw, congrats for making it through to the JamX finals!), and realised i have like, notes in triplicate for diverse things such as the 20 amino acids, (mindmap form, chart form), embryo culture, HPLC etc, and i can't remember anything about them! lol. oops. it's not so bad for cell culture and instru, cos i got B's for 'em anyway, but i got an A for ABC! (fluke one mind you, but still!) not to mention my AD for molecular bio. yikes. *blush* but but but! our year twos are getting Zaman for ABC! so damn lucky... wish she was teaching us hybridoma, i might actually pay attention on occasion.

oh, and speaking of which, proteomics today was so yawn inducing you cannot imagine. jesus christ. sarah and i made it through by passing notes to each other, while i was listening to my discman and wolfing chocolate in an (mostly futile) attempt to stimulate enough endorphin production to stay awake. (hey, everyone has their own justifications for increasing their chocolate intake *grin*) i think by the end of this semester i'm going to have enough of these passed notes to make up a book. lol. and LSSS wasn't much better, though i was sitting next to Kane, and in front of Faizal, Kenji and Anuar, which made it kinda impossible to fall asleep due to the sheer noise level. *grin* as sarah said, this is turning into a worrying trend, i haven't paid attention to a single LSSS lecture, and only to the first proteomics one because i felt sorry for huang yan. but now, if she mispronounces chaotrophic or mobile one more time i think i might scream. and thus the only way for me to stay sane is not to listen to her lectures at all. *nod me*

anyhow, back to my notes, i can't believe i put so much effort into them. they're actually colour coded! one topic in all shades of purple, one in green, blue etc. and now i just scribble with ballpoint pens. haha. it's all my cousins fault for deserting me and going to JC so she can't study with me. *sniff!* cos i studied with her when she was cramming for her O levels, and made liberal use of her pencilcase. not to mention her own notes make even my best ones look shoddy by comparison. *hugs* love you stephie, we'd better get together soon! have so much to catch up on. =)

and! mtvasia awards this week! and chester is coming! *bounces around madly* not that it makes much of a difference to me, since if i chase i guess i'll be going for blue rather than linkin park, but it's the same hotel anyway.. *grin* you never know your luck. and anggun is coming! (yes, i've mentioned it before, so?) please let me be seated somewhere near her during the awards, not sure if she still remembers me, but i can hope! *beam*

jumped at 5:32 AM

was talking to jane just now, about the usual, life, career choices, marriage, guys etc, and i think i've hit on something. we were talking about how she would be able to not think about... something, which i don't think i should elaborate on; because she starts school tomorrow. and i figured yea, that's one of the good things about school, it makes you so damn busy you don't really think about the bigger, or more important issues. a bit of a lifesaver really, since most of the time if i start thinking i'll have a complete emotional breakdown.

this is coming out all garbled, but i'm not sure how to rephrase it. i've been feeling a bit better these past few days, mostly because i think i've been obsessing with school and with one other issue, one of which is actually worth the obsession since i'm not putting in enough effort (school, duh) but the other is completely not worth it. and i've been wondering why on earth i was thinking about the other issue so much, and the reasons i was coming up with didn't really make sense. ('because' doesn't cut it.) now i think that it's because in a way it's a 'safe' topic to think about. it's annoying, irritating, emotionally draining etc, but in doses that i can handle. it's in some ways similar to other such situations in the past. i can survive this easily, no problem.

however, the 2 bigger issues are the ones i can't even think about without starting to cry, no matter where the hell i am. like the time i broke down while i was on the phone to the woman at the australian high commission because i had to tell her my father had passed away. had to hang up the phone pretty quickly. or the time in canteen 3 over lunch. or when i was telling dr goh i wanted out of the debates competition. when dr gandhi asked why i'd gone back to australia.

so. there we go. my reason for this apparently stupid obsession is because i don't want to think about the really bad stuff. really.

life sucks.

jumped at 7:35 AM